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Posts Tagged ‘sad’

another night without talking

backs simply gawking

on the edge of balking

intent on stalling

loves withdrawing

recalling the days I loved u

drawing on gray november hue

mumbling out of the blue

pausing becomes past due

whispering I love you

our time quickly dying

no matter if I’m trying

fighting, denying, crying

I know you’re just surviving

a broken soul tiring

I miss you smiling

I set you free

of you

that was me

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peaceful

peaceful into the night

peaceful into the night

my star never did burn bright

peaceful into the night

not a fucking thing done right

peaceful into the night

my soul yearns for god’s light

as I pass

as I pass…

peaceful into the night

muddy dreams slip from my sight

gripping my breathe tight

I – of forgotten me – refuse to fight

as I sink

as I float

peaceful into the night

love’s pitiful plight

shattered outright

as I… go…

to empathy’s delight

peaceful into the night

peaceful into the night

peaceful

into

the

night

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is it possible to get stuck in a dream

never wake

glide the nights and days

running down that memory

warped in my dream

is that heaven

or hell

no, hell wakes to fading whispers

pillow cradles

fan buzzes

covers comfort

darkness fades to sunshine

smiles hugs laughter love

i’ll surf my dream of days gone by

alarm shatters the ceiling

crash

oh hell, torture reigns, walking zombie

waiting to slip back

where my soul needs to be…

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there’s my mom, sittin’ up front, cryin’, carryin’ on

in er blue dress, the one she got for my gradeation

the lace ’round the collar is tore, but that’s my fault

seein’ how she cried, when i fell, cause i was plastered

didn’t even have it in my hand yet, the deploma that is

everyone laughed…but not my mom, she gets angry (more…)

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Our journey together

The name “compiler” is primarily used for programs that translate source code from a high-level programming language to a lower level language (e.g., assembly language or machine code).
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

THE COMPILER (That’s me)
You might be wondering who am I to be writing a blog about God, faith, religion, love, Jesus, forgiveness, serving, and all that a conversation about God brings to the table. Well, I’m really just a man who has sinned a lot, been broken to the point of considering suicide, hated God at several times in my life, depressed many days, stumbled most of my way through life with two broken marriages, and failed being a dad my kids could depend on a daily basis. I’m not a qualified theology scholar or even a scholar of anything other than computers (hence where I get my title from).

I am you.

But as it often is when it comes to God, sometimes, you are asked to do something, and you must obey, and so it is with this blog. God doesn’t use superheroes to spread his glory and love. He chooses a simple fisherman and makes him a fisher of men.

THE COMPILING PART
Why tell you that I suck at everything in my life, that I was a terrible husband and father, and that I go days being unhappy? Why? Because I love you.

I think millions of people if not billions walk around like a zombie every once and while and hate their existence. I write what I write so that you, you, the person hating life and too sad to go to work tomorrow, so you know you aren’t alone. I write for the broken-hearted, the forgotten, and the lonely.

I bare my soul on this blog because I believe God wants you to have hope and understand that he loves you. I get through my days knowing that God loves me no matter what I do or feel. You need to know that you have him and me by your side when you can’t live another day. That’s why I pray and listen to the spirit of God and write what I write. That’s why I compile His code.

We have a living God that loves you. I love you. You may feel alone and unloved, but you’re not. It is easy to be blinded by the ugly in this world. Trust me, I know.

If you feel like you don’t belong, that life sucks, that you aren’t worthy of anything. Follow this blog. Contact me. We are all on this journey together, and I am there for you.

If you feel like you have everything together, then great, help someone who doesn’t. I would like you to see these posts as an opportunity to spark debate about my compilations on this blog because discussing God, even if we disagree on what we are discussing, is a good thing. No, I would say, it’s a blessing and advances God’s will in this world.

I invite you to follow my blog. I believe God speaks in ways that I do not understand, and maybe, just maybe, you have something you are supposed to share with me.

[Note: If you have complaints about spelling, grammar, or other mindless details, please keep them to yourself.]

THE FINE PRINT
I have my beliefs, and what you will read on this blog are my interpretations of God’s voice within me; you will also find that a lot of what I believe differs from mainstream Christian beliefs, but I hope that’s where we can both learn from each other and grow as we discuss God’s will for the world.

So, like a gambler, when the cards have all been played and all bets called, I am laying my cards on the table, and here is what I believe.

  1. There is a God, and he is a living God.
  2. God sent Jesus to help us understand his plans.
  3. Jesus died for our sins.
  4. You experience God’s grace when you love and serve his flock.
  5. The spirit of God lives in everything that exists and that ever existed.
  6. If we listen closely, we can hear the guidance of his spirit.
  7. The bible is a history of God’s interaction with us.

Most importantly, I believe that God is not done communicating with us. Like I stated, he is a living God, and because he lives, he lives with us and in us, so the story of God and us is still being written even as you read this. You matter. You have worth.

I love you.

Wade Miller

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