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Posts Tagged ‘letting go’

Done so many things wrong I don’t know if I can do right
Oh I, Oh I’ve done so many things wrong I don’t know if I can do right
At This Point in My Life – Tracy Chapman

Don’t equate me staying afar as not being capable of love, because everything in me hurts for the broken words. I just hope you are happy because that is all that I wanted. That’s all I ever wanted, so I write this post with a broken heart but happy soul. I have prayed and prayed and prayed to God asking for answers. So I write this post, not to be selfish, but to take your pains and troubled times, now and forever more. See…

First came the rain – then fell the snow
I never forgot – therefor I know
The weight of ice broke my grip
I no longer bother to make the trip
Underneath the white – shielded by a tarp
Two seeds of tomorrow – deserve a fresh start
I feel the joy they celebrate
What they think of me I can only speculate
First came the rain – then fell the snow
I never forgot – therefor I know
I’ll serve your pain on judgment day
All your life’s debt I prepay
It’s the least that I owe – praying from afar
Cause I will be there – wherever you are

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Death holds the day when all the colors fade to gray
Blanketed by a shroud fading life covered by a weeping cloud
Visions swirl in my head a world full of mostly dead

Death feeds the day when all the colors become gray
World trapped by ice for the homeless life’s a sacrifice
Sleeping trees vomit decayed leaves

Death controls the day when all the colors remember gray
Morbid chill from the North makes creatures ill
Grace eludes me a captured soul never free

Oh yes, Death loves the day when all the colors seem only gray.

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a fish squirting water into the hands of a plastic girl

so simple, so ordinary, so cheap from a big box store

young flowers and blue rocks frame the piece

the sun sets, and the shadows grow long

a photo of time long forgotten

of a day no longer possible

a baby boy attracted to the bubbling water

perches on a stone, his fat feet poke out from under thick legs

his tiny but large hand drawn to the cool water

his face full of wonder as he leans in

the left hand holds a block destined to be tossed in

his beauty outshines all the world around

his curiosity lures him closer

his life at that moment as simple as a plastic girl

each holding their hands in the water

a photo

a photo

the fountain weathered and fell to pieces

the boy dragged away in the arms of another

I hope to a moment as simple as a plastic girl

I’m stuck praying to a god that has more than me on his mind

if there is a heaven it is in that photo

where the baby boy in his diaper sits on a rock

and time loops on forever, loops forever

and I never have to say “goodbye’

again

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I watched you walk across

the stage this afternoon

Knowing I’d nothing –

Nothing, to do with it.

I stood in the far back –

out of the way today

And just retreated,

retreated…

when you were handed

your high school diploma.

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it was a start.

I’ve browsed your Facebook posts

Though I am not your friend

Your first homecoming,

Prom night, first date

Your broken arm,

and staying out late.

I wish I knew how

To show you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it might be a start.

Some men God made a dad.

I’m sorry I’m not that man.

That’s why I went away

Let you grow on without me.

Don’t think I don’t love you.

Don’t think I don’t miss you.

Don’t think my heart’s not broken,

Destroyed and beyond repair

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I think it is a start.

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another night without talking

backs simply gawking

on the edge of balking

intent on stalling

loves withdrawing

recalling the days I loved u

drawing on gray november hue

mumbling out of the blue

pausing becomes past due

whispering I love you

our time quickly dying

no matter if I’m trying

fighting, denying, crying

I know you’re just surviving

a broken soul tiring

I miss you smiling

I set you free

of you

that was me

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