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Posts Tagged ‘sad’

Done so many things wrong I don’t know if I can do right
Oh I, Oh I’ve done so many things wrong I don’t know if I can do right
At This Point in My Life – Tracy Chapman

Don’t equate me staying afar as not being capable of love, because everything in me hurts for the broken words. I just hope you are happy because that is all that I wanted. That’s all I ever wanted, so I write this post with a broken heart but happy soul. I have prayed and prayed and prayed to God asking for answers. So I write this post, not to be selfish, but to take your pains and troubled times, now and forever more. See…

First came the rain – then fell the snow
I never forgot – therefor I know
The weight of ice broke my grip
I no longer bother to make the trip
Underneath the white – shielded by a tarp
Two seeds of tomorrow – deserve a fresh start
I feel the joy they celebrate
What they think of me I can only speculate
First came the rain – then fell the snow
I never forgot – therefor I know
I’ll serve your pain on judgment day
All your life’s debt I prepay
It’s the least that I owe – praying from afar
Cause I will be there – wherever you are

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Death holds the day when all the colors fade to gray
Blanketed by a shroud fading life covered by a weeping cloud
Visions swirl in my head a world full of mostly dead

Death feeds the day when all the colors become gray
World trapped by ice for the homeless life’s a sacrifice
Sleeping trees vomit decayed leaves

Death controls the day when all the colors remember gray
Morbid chill from the North makes creatures ill
Grace eludes me a captured soul never free

Oh yes, Death loves the day when all the colors seem only gray.

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a fish squirting water into the hands of a plastic girl

so simple, so ordinary, so cheap from a big box store

young flowers and blue rocks frame the piece

the sun sets, and the shadows grow long

a photo of time long forgotten

of a day no longer possible

a baby boy attracted to the bubbling water

perches on a stone, his fat feet poke out from under thick legs

his tiny but large hand drawn to the cool water

his face full of wonder as he leans in

the left hand holds a block destined to be tossed in

his beauty outshines all the world around

his curiosity lures him closer

his life at that moment as simple as a plastic girl

each holding their hands in the water

a photo

a photo

the fountain weathered and fell to pieces

the boy dragged away in the arms of another

I hope to a moment as simple as a plastic girl

I’m stuck praying to a god that has more than me on his mind

if there is a heaven it is in that photo

where the baby boy in his diaper sits on a rock

and time loops on forever, loops forever

and I never have to say “goodbye’

again

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I watched you walk across

the stage this afternoon

Knowing I’d nothing –

Nothing, to do with it.

I stood in the far back –

out of the way today

And just retreated,

retreated…

when you were handed

your high school diploma.

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it was a start.

I’ve browsed your Facebook posts

Though I am not your friend

Your first homecoming,

Prom night, first date

Your broken arm,

and staying out late.

I wish I knew how

To show you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it might be a start.

Some men God made a dad.

I’m sorry I’m not that man.

That’s why I went away

Let you grow on without me.

Don’t think I don’t love you.

Don’t think I don’t miss you.

Don’t think my heart’s not broken,

Destroyed and beyond repair

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I think it is a start.

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alone at night, hard bed, neighbors scream next door

paper-thin, garage-sale sheets flutter from a shaky fan

street lights permeate broken blinds and illuminate a smoky room

pills and warm beer numb the pain and prevent the tears

swollen feet, rotten teeth, stiff fingers, aching back

selling lottery tickets and cheap gas at a ten-hour shift

paycheck to paycheck, bologna sandwiches, fried burrito shirts

anyone, no one wonders where it all went

unrealized dreams, youth breezed by, life advanced

mistakes begat mistakes, finishing last on life’s ladder

forgotten loves, child support, where are they now

my god, my god, why have you forgotten me

regret and sorrow is all i deserve

regret and sorrow is all i own

i don’t want to make the light of day

a life, a life, a life that finished last

promise, sacrifice, messiah, love

redemption, forgiveness, risen glory

for a soul, a soul…

a soul to finish first

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