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Archive for the ‘medications’ Category

rotten bones

Posted in arthritis, depressed, failure, medications, pain, panic attacks, poem, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2019| Leave a Comment »

battling the demons within
struggling to keep my soul without sin
hardships destroy my will to win
release my pain and move ahead
today, i hate all you said
how to move an inch and get out of bed
darkness, destruction, torture, pain
difficult to keep my thoughts sane
effort and hope are all in vain
the night will end – the sun will rise
but i will still be the thing i despise
years ago, i tossed my happy disguise
judge me all you want and cast your stones
roll your eyes at my rotten bones
i was once entrenched upon that throne
such sage advice…you have no clue
don’t worry i hate me more than you
i will be the one to pay debts past due
foul choices decided all those years
you laugh and scoff at my tears
get your fucking ass out of here
disintegration, laziness, worthlessness, death
addicted to the doctor’s caffeinated meth
I weep and choke on my last breath
god decided years ago on his own
when he cursed me with rotten bones
i would die alone

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too muddled to think

Posted in broken-hearted, depressed, failure, medications, panic attacks, poem, tagged , , , , , , , on September 8, 2016| Leave a Comment »

i’m dead inside – i forgot how to build the fire
to set a lit to my soul’s desire
voices in the night sing my name
they hum soft words to keep me tame
clouds…clouds…clouds gray
so empty my thoughts no longer stay
a world of warm colors fades
panic slices my life with blades
god i hate me that is now me
unable to love what I see
open these lifeless eyes to stare there
at a fan circling the dust in the air
close them what does it matter
my hopes scatter
drowning
invisible
poof

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