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Archive for the ‘belief’ Category

vanquished

Posted in belief, depressed, poem, spirit, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2020| Leave a Comment »

where did my soul go

didn’t even realize it was missing

i read something that infuriated me

or

was it that i heard some sad news

whatever

my soul is gone

indifference

hate

selfishness

is that all I got

did i drive it out

wash it out

replace it

hell, i don’t remember when it

year, yesterday, six months

i wonder what god would say

or even my mom

love

forgiveness

compassion

should i pray for that to return

leave the house

ask around

take some medication

i’ll google it

after i finish playing this game

no, wait,

my favorite episode of svu

who just sent me a snapchat

what was i missing

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Dying Embers of Humanity

Posted in belief, forgiveness, god, jesus, love, poem, spirit, tagged , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2014| 1 Comment »

The man, motionless, sagging as a weathered piece of wallpaper –
tearing from the top, hangs, hangs, hangs
from the blood-stained frame worn smooth from daily crucifixions.
With knees bent awkwardly to the left and arms outstretched and nailed to wood,
his chin rests upon his bloody chest as the body protrudes from the cross.
Dark, blood-stained eyes stare out upon a red-washed landscape,
scanning the world full of people, near and off in the distance, now and lives to come;
his breathing is labored, each exhale painful from bruised ribs
each inhale impossible from the weight of his limp body;
the man struggles, licks his parched lips and speaks…

Father… forgive them… for they… for they… do not know… what they do…

they hurt they do not know they do not comprehend
i love them you love them let me bear their pain their suffering
i beg you please take all their pain and place upon me I will endure
all who will hurt put their pain on me all their tragedies heartaches sufferings illnesses
the years will come and go but they will not change they will always be scared
IT HURTS   IT HURTS   IT     HURTS
my body is weak take away the hurt
i am SCARED
i am so afraid of dying father
so scared
i feel alone
will they ever understand why
will they
answer me
i just want them to love you
i just want them to love you
i just want them to know who i am
who i am who i am know who i am
to know how much you love them

The swell of bystanders murmuring, pointing, and snickering, at the man
relish in the festivities of Roman ringleaders as they gamble for his clothing.
But, as hours float away and the sun scorches the ground, the crowd, the man –
uninterested spectators wander away to tend to more pressing affairs.

forgive me if I have failed as i gave all I had
you lied
i hurt i am dying father FATHER F A T H EERRR

The man struggles to lift his head heavenward and screams
in a broken voice that could have been yelled by an eighty-year-old smoker.

My God… My God… why… Why! Why have you forsaken me!

no
no
no no  no    no         no      father i feel you here beside me
holding me loving me comforting me revealing to me let your will be done
I am terrified I must die I will carry their load suffer their sins
I will pay their debt let your will be done I love them you love them
I give all that I am all that I will be all that love offers
Let my suffering   my    suffering be their glory

Warm moist air pushes rain heavy clouds across the sky
casting the area into a dull lifeless masterpiece of gray.
The day has drifted into eternity.
With a smile on his lips and glimmer in his eyes
the Messiah, the Christ, the Savior lifts his head
forgive them for they do not know what they do – and speaks

Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.

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Where has Christmas Gone? Part 3

Posted in belief, christian, Christmas, god, jesus, love, questions, tagged , , , , on December 25, 2013| 1 Comment »

If you have not read part 1, you can find it here.

xmas_3

The sun rose on another Christmas morning, and I still wonder why Christmas doesn’t feel the same to me. Of course, I gave excuses why Christmas has gone away, and to be honest, in an American sense, Christmas is disappearing. And all of that is probably due to the reasons I listed earlier.

But if Christmas is about God, and I believe it is, no matter what someone might claim as a mere commercial holiday, so if Christmas is about God, then it cannot be destroyed, it cannot go away, and it cannot be blocked by courts or politicians in an office. As the Grinch learned that fateful Christmas morning, Christmas, perhaps, is a bit more than packages and presents and roast beast.

So what it ultimately comes down to is that we make Christmas what we want it to be. For me, I thought writing this would help me find another reason why the Christmas spirit has disappeared, but I didn’t find anything – no Scrooge or Grinch moments. I have to live with the Christmas that I have been dealt, and don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad one. I have a great job and a beautiful house. That means it is just me.

So on this Christmas morning, I pray that you keep Christmas close to your heart. People can try and remove Christ from Christmas, but as long as you keep him in your heart, we can live in a world without Christmas trees, nativity scenes, and Christmas songs. Our relationship with God cannot be removed. He will always be there. Love him. Love your family, your friends, your neighbors, and all brothers and sisters on this wonderful planet we call home.

God bless you.

Wade

Image borrowed from here.

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Highway to Heaven

Posted in belief, god, love, serve, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2013| 3 Comments »

Highway to Heaven

Growing up in the 80s, one of my favorite TV shows was Highway to Heaven starring Michael Landon and Victor French. If you don’t know the show, Michael Landon plays Jonathan Smith, an angel sent to Earth to help people in a time of need. Victor French, who is still alive and is a tad cynical, is Mark Gordon, an ex-cop helping Jonathan on his mission to serve. It was a great show that we watched as a family. This show is one of my favorite memories growing up.

Why am I talking about a TV show from the 80s? Well, I’ll tell you. Recently a production company has purchased the rights to show, and they are releasing the seasons on DVD. The shows are unedited and exactly like they were in the 80s. So far, Season 1 and Season 2 are the only seasons available, but I own both. I will include links to the DVDs on Amazon.com at the end of the post.

(more…)

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Angels on Earth

Posted in belief, christian, failure, forgiveness, god, jesus, love, serve, spirit, tagged , , , , , , on October 12, 2013| Leave a Comment »

words falling

Tonight, I sit at my desk, in my chair that is often too low that it makes my knees hurt, and I have to lean back and push the monitors back on the desktop so that I can read the words; otherwise my weakening eyes are unable to discern what I’m typing. Tonight, my head hurts from allergies and crying, which only complicates the allergy symptoms. Oh, I have the sad songs playing; well, I don’t like to call them sad; I prefer to refer to them as emotionally-inducing muses that stir the rambling in my head that allows the swirling ideas to funnel down my arms to my fingers and eventually onto my keyboard to finally end up on the computer screen.

Occasionally, I feel the weight of the world – its problems, more like humanity’s problems. The sadness, loneliness, hurt, anger, fear, confusion, and pain that so many people push deep inside as they deal with their days. We hid it so those around us continue to function, but when the sun goes down, and the homes’ owners close their doors and turn off their lights, the sorrow rises and gnaws at our soul.

(more…)

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