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Posts Tagged ‘feeling lonely’

I watched you walk across

the stage this afternoon

Knowing I’d nothing –

Nothing, to do with it.

I stood in the far back –

out of the way today

And just retreated,

retreated…

when you were handed

your high school diploma.

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it was a start.

I’ve browsed your Facebook posts

Though I am not your friend

Your first homecoming,

Prom night, first date

Your broken arm,

and staying out late.

I wish I knew how

To show you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it might be a start.

Some men God made a dad.

I’m sorry I’m not that man.

That’s why I went away

Let you grow on without me.

Don’t think I don’t love you.

Don’t think I don’t miss you.

Don’t think my heart’s not broken,

Destroyed and beyond repair

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I think it is a start.

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alone at night, hard bed, neighbors scream next door

paper-thin, garage-sale sheets flutter from a shaky fan

street lights permeate broken blinds and illuminate a smoky room

pills and warm beer numb the pain and prevent the tears

swollen feet, rotten teeth, stiff fingers, aching back

selling lottery tickets and cheap gas at a ten-hour shift

paycheck to paycheck, bologna sandwiches, fried burrito shirts

anyone, no one wonders where it all went

unrealized dreams, youth breezed by, life advanced

mistakes begat mistakes, finishing last on life’s ladder

forgotten loves, child support, where are they now

my god, my god, why have you forgotten me

regret and sorrow is all i deserve

regret and sorrow is all i own

i don’t want to make the light of day

a life, a life, a life that finished last

promise, sacrifice, messiah, love

redemption, forgiveness, risen glory

for a soul, a soul…

a soul to finish first

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another night without talking

backs simply gawking

on the edge of balking

intent on stalling

loves withdrawing

recalling the days I loved u

drawing on gray november hue

mumbling out of the blue

pausing becomes past due

whispering I love you

our time quickly dying

no matter if I’m trying

fighting, denying, crying

I know you’re just surviving

a broken soul tiring

I miss you smiling

I set you free

of you

that was me

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2014-07-29 19.18.24

Love. So much has been written, sung, created, joined, saved, married, and born… a universe generated from our God’s love, LOVE so powerful, that, from that love, life burst forth from nothing. God loved life beyond our comprehension that somehow, a universe grew from that love. In that split second of the big bang our souls grabbed ahold of a teeny, tiny piece of that love, and we have been happy sad laughing crying jumping crawling all at the same time, and this, THIS moves this fragile life of ours. You feel it swell in your chest that you lose your breath and your stomach quivers. You digest it to the point of exhaustion and your legs are weak. (more…)

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is it possible to get stuck in a dream

never wake

glide the nights and days

running down that memory

warped in my dream

is that heaven

or hell

no, hell wakes to fading whispers

pillow cradles

fan buzzes

covers comfort

darkness fades to sunshine

smiles hugs laughter love

i’ll surf my dream of days gone by

alarm shatters the ceiling

crash

oh hell, torture reigns, walking zombie

waiting to slip back

where my soul needs to be…

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