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the fountain

a fish squirting water into the hands of a plastic girl

so simple, so ordinary, so cheap from a big box store

young flowers and blue rocks frame the piece

the sun sets, and the shadows grow long

a photo of time long forgotten

of a day no longer possible

a baby boy attracted to the bubbling water

perches on a stone, his fat feet poke out from under thick legs

his tiny but large hand drawn to the cool water

his face full of wonder as he leans in

the left hand holds a block destined to be tossed in

his beauty outshines all the world around

his curiosity lures him closer

his life at that moment as simple as a plastic girl

each holding their hands in the water

a photo

a photo

the fountain weathered and fell to pieces

the boy dragged away in the arms of another

I hope to a moment as simple as a plastic girl

I’m stuck praying to a god that has more than me on his mind

if there is a heaven it is in that photo

where the baby boy in his diaper sits on a rock

and time loops on forever, loops forever

and I never have to say “goodbye’

again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

Those are lines from a John Denver song. I have always loved it ever since I can remember, and since it was released in 1974, that’s about all my life. It’s called Annie’s Song because he wrote it for his wife, but on days when I feel down or alone, I play it and imagine sitting with Jesus under the shade of a large oak tree, just the two of us, alone, in the middle of nowhere. He wouldn’t necessarily be saying the words to me, but more that I can feel them in his eyes and in his manner towards me. I wish that I could say the situation was reversed, but I am terrible at expressing love, but He would know that and understand.

So for those, who might need this song and your time alone with Jesus, wherever that may be, I am including all the lyrics and a YouTube video. May God bless you, and I hope you find comfort in the song on a day you need it.

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

John Denver
Annie’s Song

the spirit of god

There is no beginning; there is no today; there is no future, and there, certainly, is no end. There is only the Spirit of God, which is always true and always loving, and the Spirit conforms for no one. The Spirit is pure love.

Unfortunately, the human race loathes the Spirit and ignores the message delivered so long ago by the Savior, Jesus Christ – love our God and love His offspring – the heart of the Spirit, the essence of God, the only real purpose to this gift called life, to love as the Spirit.

Yet, we ignore the Spirit by constructing boxes to bind our human beliefs. We ignore the Spirit by following random words in a printed book to justify our actions. The Spirit is not bound by walls or written in some book. The Spirit does not sit in a pew or sing “amen.” The Spirit lives in the blades of grass, the trunk of a tree, the wings of a bird, the roar of a lion, the cry of a baby, and in the tears of the lonely. The Spirit beats in the hearts of all creatures, then, now, and forever. The Spirit bestows meaning to the Universe and binds atoms millions of light years apart. No matter how much we attempt to mold the Spirit to our feeble minds…the Spirit just is.

Love our God and love His offspring. Not impossible to do but improbable to accomplish. We are full of hate and fear and cast judgement on all that has been placed before us. We shove God’s Spirit out of our lives because love is hard. Love is impossible without forgiveness, and forgiveness is impossible without losing your hate, fear, and pride. For love to be first, you must be last; you must become forgotten. And that is something most people will not embrace.

God loves us. His mercy knows no ends. His compassion is limitless, but as we are reminded so many times by Jesus, there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth for our God is also just. Those that flaunt what they think they know shall be ravaged by death, those that pretend to know shall be pushed aside, and those that have never known shall be embraced in His glory. The Lord God sent his message to open the eyes of a few that once knew and to reach those who, deep inside, always knew.

Those that are saved are not those that lead. Those that are saved are those that are forgotten.

only wish i knew how

I watched you walk across

the stage this afternoon

Knowing I’d nothing –

Nothing, to do with it.

I stood in the far back –

out of the way today

And just retreated,

retreated…

when you were handed

your high school diploma.

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it was a start.

I’ve browsed your Facebook posts

Though I am not your friend

Your first homecoming,

Prom night, first date

Your broken arm,

and staying out late.

I wish I knew how

To show you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I thought it might be a start.

Some men God made a dad.

I’m sorry I’m not that man.

That’s why I went away

Let you grow on without me.

Don’t think I don’t love you.

Don’t think I don’t miss you.

Don’t think my heart’s not broken,

Destroyed and beyond repair

I wish I knew how

To tell you I love you.

I wrote you this poem

As I think it is a start.

finish last, finish first

alone at night, hard bed, neighbors scream next door

paper-thin, garage-sale sheets flutter from a shaky fan

street lights permeate broken blinds and illuminate a smoky room

pills and warm beer numb the pain and prevent the tears

swollen feet, rotten teeth, stiff fingers, aching back

selling lottery tickets and cheap gas at a ten-hour shift

paycheck to paycheck, bologna sandwiches, fried burrito shirts

anyone, no one wonders where it all went

unrealized dreams, youth breezed by, life advanced

mistakes begat mistakes, finishing last on life’s ladder

forgotten loves, child support, where are they now

my god, my god, why have you forgotten me

regret and sorrow is all i deserve

regret and sorrow is all i own

i don’t want to make the light of day

a life, a life, a life that finished last

promise, sacrifice, messiah, love

redemption, forgiveness, risen glory

for a soul, a soul…

a soul to finish first

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