Compiling God's Code

Love. So much has been written, sung, created, joined, saved, married, and born… a universe generated from our God’s love, LOVE so powerful, that, from that love, life burst forth from nothing. God loved life beyond our comprehension that somehow, a universe grew from that love. In that split second of the big bang our souls grabbed ahold of a teeny, tiny piece of that love, and we have been happy sad laughing crying jumping crawling all at the same time, and this, THIS moves this fragile life of ours. You feel it swell in your chest that you lose your breath and your stomach quivers. You digest it to the point of exhaustion and your legs are weak.

I don’t understand what God wants. What that love means? Where that love leads? I have tried to follow His will. Praying that love lead me to happiness, praying that love guide me to HIS will, I have prayed with the gusto of the mustard seed. For the most part I have failed. I suck at being an organism with human qualities. I am good at letting people down. I wonder what God wants from me. I have no fucking idea. Maybe my moment happened, and I didn’t even know it was happening.

I do know that I wear my heart on my sleeve though, and I believe in honesty and sharing my life, so I am writing now to tell you that one day this week (a typical day, a day people will work, children will attend school, traffic will be bumper to bumper, people will grow old, and babies will be born) this ordinary day will be the hardest, worst day of my short life, and I wonder how I will take it as I follow God’s lead.

Love. I guess. While writing this post, I realize that every second of every day, someone has the hardest, worst day of his or her short life. I am passing my love to a couple of the most important people in my life, and I realize now that if we all passed a little of that love in our hearts, this world becomes smaller. Problems become simpler. Life becomes easier. Love doesn’t erase life. I will still cry. I will still hurt. But knowing that God’s love made this day a possibility means that I shared a moment with my Lord that I will forever be thankful for until I die.

If you are having a terrible day, just know that love built this universe, the dirt you stand on, the air you breathe, the sunlight that warms you, and the hurt that you feel inside. If love can do all that, love will conquer your day as well. You are not alone. God is here for you. I am here for you. Trust me; I know what it feels like to have the wind knocked out of you. But I also know how it feels to have God put it back.