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Love

Love. What is love?

Twenty years ago, I thought that love could never be if it wasn’t a two-way street. Back then, I lived a lonely world and dreamed of love, craving to be loved. I wrote a lot back then, putting my thoughts on paper, writing my dreams with a pen, and hoping to express what I fantasized about in the middle of the night, lying in bed, when the world is quiet, and you only have your thoughts, an imaginary world where I was loved.

I had failed college. I had failed my parents. I had failed myself. When life seems bleak, you cling to small passions and try to create hope, so you can keep going on with living. I felt we struggle our whole lives wanting love, and if you are lucky, once, you experience love in your lifetime.

I loved no one, and I loved everyone. I knew in my heart that to know love, you had to be loved. Oh, to feel the love of another human being, comforting, warming, caring, reassuring, just knowing you weren’t alone. I WANTED TO BE LOVED.

But, I was wrong; now I know that love isn’t about receiving; love is about giving – giving of yourself, without question, without expecting anything in return, like God.

God loves us without question, without hesitating, without any drama. He just loves us. That is love. True love is what we share with others in our life. Freely giving love feeds our souls.

Comforting our loved ones when they are sad.
Cheering for them when they try.
Forgiving them when they hurt us.
That is love.

Love isn’t something you experience once in your lifetime. Love is something you give every second of every day. Love is not about you; love is about others. Love moves outward towards the world.

Growing older meant somehow losing myself and finding others. I’m just not twenty years older now than I was back then; I’m not alone even though I live alone. I’m not afraid even though I lock my doors at night. I’m not unloved because God loves me, and with God’s love, all things are possible, and even when it seems like the world is crashing down, God’s love comforts me. God’s love teaches me how to love my wife, my children, my mom and dad, my bother and his family, my friends, my coworkers, and everyone in this world, and even if I’m not loved back, I still love because that is what Jesus taught us – to love your God with all your heart and soul and to love His flock with all your heart and soul.

God is love

little hands

i wonder where i got off course

where my life tripped up yours

i hate the nights

where i remember

how little your hands seemed in mine

begging God to strip all i have

all i will achieve

my health

my life

my last breath

just so you are happy

some moments…

i wish the river of life

looped back around

providing the chance…

that impossible opportunity

to take a different path

and change the course of your life

where i would awake

in my bed of old

and hold your little hands again

knowing you would always be happy

how much i love you…

A Christian Prayer

take my eyes my Lord
and reveal those who need you.
take my heart my Lord
and fill it with your love and compassion.
take my hands my Lord
and build your kingdom.
take my arms my Lord
and embrace those who are lonely.
take my legs my Lord
and lead me to those who are broken.
take my mouth my Lord
and offer forgiveness to your sinners.
take my ears my Lord
and listen to all problems.
take my soul my Lord
and forgive me for my sins.
take all that I am my Lord
and share it with your world.

Trust in the Spirit

As my life tumbles along, up the hills and down the valleys, I wonder when and where it will quiet down so that I can catch a breathe, and just when I sense a slow down as it nears a hill, I learn of old friends that must somehow deal with the tragedy of not only losing one child but two, and I realize that my valleys and trapdoors are only bumps that must be dealt with but are survivable with only minor scratches and bruises to show for my fall. Continue Reading »

Last Sunrise

god bless momma

god bless her

god bless the dead

which no longer talk,

and

god bless me

 

the     second      coming     came

i                was         left           alone    in    hell

what   should   i   do

save           me

love           me

 

i saw you god

when the sun rose

and the flowers opened

i saw you waiting

for mankind to love

i saw you god

needed you

i saw you move god

when the wind stirred

and a newborn cried

i saw you god

but you never noticed me

 

holy seekers preach

the end is almost near

i just want some mark

to show that i was here

 

pain

does life go on

i need a caring heart

to end this ruthless lie

brains

intelligence kills my god

why can’t i find

the hope that i seek

 

mistakes happen

humanity sucks

love is a tale forgotten

i want a life

which allows for mercy

when killing

is by god’s hands

 

i don’t want to be the one

the messiah for the near dead

grant me peace

hear my prayers

dying     time       is                      near

 

i want to learn

the meaning of life

are we to follow our lord

are we to follow our leaders

one leads to a promised judgment

one leads to a promised quick reward

will i die in vain

if i choose one and not the other

 

the wrecking ball is here

god’s revelations

have all been fulfilled

the lamb to be slaughtered

is placed upon the alter

the evil close their eyes

while the good stand and stare

 

god bless my soul

i run to you with open arms