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Archive for the ‘broken-hearted’ Category

Last Sunrise

god bless momma

god bless her

god bless the dead

which no longer talk,

and

god bless me

 

the     second      coming     came

i                was         left           alone    in    hell

what   should   i   do

save           me

love           me

 

i saw you god

when the sun rose

and the flowers opened

i saw you waiting

for mankind to love

i saw you god

needed you

i saw you move god

when the wind stirred

and a newborn cried

i saw you god

but you never noticed me

 

holy seekers preach

the end is almost near

i just want some mark

to show that i was here

 

pain

does life go on

i need a caring heart

to end this ruthless lie

brains

intelligence kills my god

why can’t i find

the hope that i seek

 

mistakes happen

humanity sucks

love is a tale forgotten

i want a life

which allows for mercy

when killing

is by god’s hands

 

i don’t want to be the one

the messiah for the near dead

grant me peace

hear my prayers

dying     time       is                      near

 

i want to learn

the meaning of life

are we to follow our lord

are we to follow our leaders

one leads to a promised judgment

one leads to a promised quick reward

will i die in vain

if i choose one and not the other

 

the wrecking ball is here

god’s revelations

have all been fulfilled

the lamb to be slaughtered

is placed upon the alter

the evil close their eyes

while the good stand and stare

 

god bless my soul

i run to you with open arms

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alone in the car
alone in a cubical
alone under the highway underpass
kids screaming
can’t sleep
keep my head down
i wonder how mom is doing
pants are too tight
hair too short
i can’t believe i’m pregnant
i can’t believe i lost it
i can’t believe she’s finally here
missing the one i gave up
the days creep along
day’s almost over
shall i end it all
would anyone even care
i’m getting married
i want a divorce
i just wish someone was around
worthless
broken
homeless
depressed
what’s her name
should i take a chance
should i get high
should i take a nap
i’m here all around you
every second of every day
just acknowledge me
just accept my faults
just love me
because
i want you to know who i am
i need you to know who i am
i just want you…
i just want you…
to know who i am

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Recently, I’ve helped, along with a core group of great people, start a ministry at our church. It has been difficult, for me, because I’m typically a shy person, and, yet, extremely rewarding as I witness God’s will fulfilled on a weekly basis. As a group of unique individuals, how do we, as volunteers, succeed in this endeavor when we each bring our own misconceptions, ideals, wants, needs, fears, and anxieties to the group? When you think about all that mishmash of emotions, you might begin to wonder how we can even come close to succeeding. But that would be true if we weren’t all bound by God’s love and guidance, and with his grace we will flourish and fulfill his will.

But that doesn’t just happen easily, and our lives, who we are, what we do, and how we cope, have a chance to interfere with the spirit of God and disrupt what he wants us to do, but, fortunately, there are ways to tackle our issues and bring them to light so that we can work on them. (more…)

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Recently, a group of us have been reading Matthew’s Gospel for Lent, and yesterday’s reading covered when Jesus dined with Matthew and his friends. For some reason, this passage gives me life, and it is my favorite part of the bible. There have been times when I cried (a hard, deep cry) for 30 minutes after reading it. Here is that what happened when the Pharisees commented on Jesus mingling with the “low life.”

Matthew 9:12-13 (Amplified Bible)

12 But when Jesus heard it, He replied, Those who are strong and well (healthy) have no need of a physician, but those who are weak and sick.
13 Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy [that is, [a]readiness to help those in trouble] and not sacrifice and sacrificial victims. For I came not to call and invite [to repentance] the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God), but sinners (the erring ones and all those not free from sin).

Here is the New American Standard Bible version as well.

Matthew 9:12-13 (New American Standard Bible)

12But when Jesus heard this, He said, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.
13″But go and learn what this means: ‘I DESIRE COMPASSION, AND NOT SACRIFICE,’ for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

I can’t explain how much this has changed my life. God showed me that it is not the sacrifices we make or even our attempts to be righteous that He wants. He wants us to love the rest of His children and to show mercy to those who need it the most. He wants us to show that He loves and forgives those that love Him the least. (Try to comprehend that much love; God cares for the most–the very people whom love Him the least.) I can’t tell you how many visions streamed through my head of people who were lonely, out of touch, and just needing someone to show mercy towards them. Most of the situations were people who didn’t even know that they needed the love. They lived their typical lives and loved God or they didn’t love Him; it didn’t matter.

Money doesn’t matter. God doesn’t care whether we are rich or poor. God doesn’t want money. Showing mercy to the weak and sick of heart is what God wants.

Being a person devoid of sin is not enough. It doesn’t matter if a person never commits adultery or never curses or never steals or murders. If that person never touches another human being, then he or she is breaking God’s greatest commandment. God wants us to forgive and show His love to others. We all pray to God to forgive our sins and think that “I’m a pretty good person. I mean… I go to church. I don’t drink or do drugs. I never cheated on my spouse. I never abused a child. I try to keep all the 10 commandments, and when I fail, I ask for God’s forgiveness.” That’s not good enough. It is not even what is being asked of us.

Here is the New Living Translation.

12 When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.”
13 Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices. For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

People have it all wrong. We’ve been taught wrong by our religions. We’ve been taught wrong by our parents. It is not enough to be a good person. We can never be good enough to get into God’s glory. That’s why Jesus said we can never be good enough and need God’s Grace. We don’t do what He is asking of us. The road to God is by showing His love to our brothers and sisters in humanity.

I don’t think this is a call to drop everything and go and become Jonathan on Highway to Heaven. Those who do make that sacrifice will get the greatest rewards in Heaven. The world would cease to function if everyone stopped normal activities and just went around and helped other people. God designed this world to function. He wants us to have children, build homes, have jobs, and just live life. He designed the world that way. What God does want us to do is show His love to other people. If you see someone who looks lonely, befriend them. If you see someone sad, comfort them. If you see someone who needs help, help them. We have to stop turning our backs on people and start loving and forgiving them. That is what God expects of us. That is God’s Grace, and that is what ensures us of heaven.

Remember, even Jesus cried out to God as He died on the cross as Jesus felt He was left alone to die, but we are not alone. We have our Lord, and we have each other. God is here through us. He reaches out through us. I will do my part to help those in need. Please e-mail me if you just need to talk. I’m here.

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