Compiling God's Code

Can you remember a time when you’ve been on the outside looking in, where everyone else knew the lingo, knew what to do, knew the inside jokes and seemed to fit right in? As someone who has been a loner a lot of my life and refused to put myself out there, I’ve been there, and it hurts. Usually, most people walk away from that situation because it’s so difficult to break into that intimate group. I have. It’s just easier that way.

A lot of the time, the group doesn’t even know they’re being exclusive. I mean, they’ve been together for years; they’ve raised their kids together; they’ve gone to the movies together; they’ve gathered together once a week for as long as they can remember, so naturally, bonds have been formed and invisible walls have been built.

In high school, this is juvenile behavior that hurts at the time, but when Christians form a clique, not only is the outsider walking away from the group, he or she is also walking away from an opportunity to know God. I’ve been in churches where I’ve felt like the odd guy out as I’ve bounced around religions searching for the “perfect” place, only to walk away because I didn’t feel welcome. I’m confident in my relationship with God since I’ve grown up knowing he was in my life, so I understood God was there for me regardless of what happened in that church. But for many, they were already taking a leap by just walking into church, so when they get rebuffed because they are an outsider that took Joe’s spot in the pew, they might never walk through a church door again.

Is that your church? Are you a member of the gang? You might be thinking to yourself, “that’s not my church.” We welcome all new people with open arms and a new mug with an invitation to come back and visit. I’m not talking about the second someone walks through the door, and I’m certainly not talking about the neat little family of four that’s just moved into town and their neighbor goes to the church. I’m talking about the single mom whose kids are a little scruffy because she’s doing it all by herself. I’m talking about the head-banger with piercings and tattoos who decided to see what God was all about. I’m talking about the woman who hasn’t bathed in a long time because she lives on the street. I’m talking about the “illegal” that can barely speak English. I’m talking about someone of a different color. I’m talking about the person who feels he or she isn’t even worthy of walking in that door because of the sins committed and doesn’t know that God loves him or her regardless.

What are you doing to welcome these outsiders? Are you inviting them to join the clique for lunch after church or supper at some other time? During church gatherings, does your group take all the seats at the table in the hall so that outsiders sit alone? You might know the Bible front to cover, but not everyone can recite passage blah blah when blah blah did blah blah. Have you ever been around people spouting jargon that you don’t have a clue about the meaning? It’s intimidating. Do you search for opportunities to include them? What we should be doing is spreading out not drawing our wagons inward. Don’t get all holy and fancy when dealing with someone. Just lead by example and that starts with including those that stand outside.

Trust me, I stink at this as well, but I sort of have an excuse; I can barely speak to my wife, much less a stranger, but I’m working on it, and I hope that someday soon, this is no longer an obstacle for me. But to be truthful, I shouldn’t let my excuses get in the way. I’m not writing this to point fingers but to open your eyes to something you might not even be aware you’re doing. I’ve seen good people keeping to their group, and like I said, I’ve been guilty as well. Just remember, the next time you’re at church, find the new guy and invite him to lunch. You’re inviting him to more than just lunch; you might be taking him on the first step to knowing God’s love.