Compiling God's Code

memories kick my ass
screaming, punching, holding nothing back
i fall in agony
i pray in disbelief
at what i’ve become
that a man who once was
now barely a shadow of what is
god
i hate you
for leaving me alone
to face
this
this
this emptiness that held all i had
that
in the utter blackness of my soul
pages have been ripped out
destroyed beyond repair           of
religion’s scotch tape
i just want to punch something
for the happenstances of my life
detoured off my plan
my plan
what became of my plan
yes
what became of my plan
god
i hate you
for leaving me alone
to venture
on your path
why have you forsaken me?